Miami Shite

Miami Vice: D

Plain and simple, Miami Vice is what I can only refer to as cinematic excrement. I have to admit that I was a little unsure about the film, given all the on-set gossip that the entertainment rags discussed (i.e. partying, constant delays, numerous reshoots, Jamie Foxx's diva 'tude). But, it could just be gossip, right? After all, the director, Michael Mann, helmed several movies I've liked in the past, such as The Last of the Mohicans, Heat, The Insider and even Collateral.

It's a classic case that one's past does not determine their future and this Miami Vice falls flat on its face, resulting in another donkey for Colin Farrell (Alexander was just as bad) and a stumble for Oscar-winner Jamie Foxx. After seeing Farrell charm all the talk shows this week, and even joked with Matt Lauer by asking if he's "still glib" in reference to Tom Cruise's spaz out on Lauer last year, I thought for sure that he would've brought that quality to the role. Nope. If you haven't heard already, the film is nothing like the campy 80s show except that Michael Mann was also the show's executive producer. Oh, except that we continue to have boys with expensive toys.

The film is essentially about Crockett (Farrell, in case you don't recognize him in his orangy greasy hair and redneck mustache) and Tubbs going undercover to trap a Columbian drug dealer running drugs into Miami. Wow-- now that's a plot I've never heard of before! Needless to say, the movie did not withstand the "pee test," as in I will only get up to to go the bathroom if a movie truly sucks.

Immediately, you're thrown in the middle of a rather dull sting operation, only to suddenly divert into the drug story. The characters aren't even really introduced and the entire screenplay feels disjointed and chaotic, most likely resulting from those extensive reshoots that supposedly were "overblown gossip." In a cop movie, you expect intriguing characters, exciting car chase scenes, a potential shoot-out or even on-going plot twists. Hardly any of that in this one (and certainly nothing that's very interesting), for I think I could've written this in Film 101 in college. There is no character development, and Crockett and Tubbs both come off as rather vanilla compared to many of their genre predecessors.

Colin Farrell has more screentime, mainly due to his strategy to seduce the female drug dealer/business woman/probably someone else's lover, played by Gong Li (from Memiors of a Geisha). Their lack of chemistry was so awkward that it was almost like watching one of my dogs try to hump a fish. Li's English was so bumbled that her body tended to dry heave forward as though she were vomiting her words out. And then we have Farrell attempting some deep "tough" American accent that sounds like an over-the-top SNL character (you'd never know he's really Irish since he never plays one).

And then we have Jamie Foxx that shows up as Farrell's partner with eloquent lines such as "I could never doubt you" or having to listen to Farrell explain "We get down if the play calls for it, bud." All I could think of was how many moments of this film could have fit into Jon Stewart's gay cowboy montage from The Oscars (if you haven't seen it, here's the link to You Tube). Foxx has an equally awkward love interest in one of the other cops, and I say that because we don't even know they're lovers until she suddenly shows up in his shower. Normally, you expect filmmakers to build up to a sex scene with either romantic or sexual tension -- not with a female character that you barely even noticed up until that point.

This is truly one of those films where you have to wonder "what in the hell happened here?" Whoever thought that the seductive response to the question of "how fast does your boat go?" should be "it goes real fast" should never touch another screenplay again. Or here's another gem, "Do you understand the meaning of the word 'foreboding', as in badness is happening right now?

I could keep going on with more, but I'm too busy snickering. Don't even waste a rental with this one, as I think I'd rather watch my niece's birthing video than sit through this again. And you probably would, too.

The best part of this film was seeing the preview for the upcoming Martin Scorsese movie with Jack Nicholson, a finally grown up-looking Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon called The Departed. Jack plays a crime boss, and both Leo and Matt are cops. Leo is undercover in Jack's crew and Matt is on Jack's payroll. Both sides know there's a snitch in each camp, and the one that lives is the one that sniffs out the other first.

I've got questions, you've got answers

1. How do I get Kona here to stop licking his open wound so that it will heal (but isn't he cute)?

2. What song is in your head right now?

3. Is there something that you thought “someone should invent that” and then someone else did and became rich from it?

4. Would you rather explore the ocean or space?

5. What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?

6. If you had $1 million to give away to one charity, which one would it be?

7. If you could meet one famous person (dead or alive), who would it be?

8. What’s your favorite Seinfeld episode?

9. When you were a kid, did a stranger ever offer you a ride home?

10. If they were still alive, would James Dean, Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley still be famous or was it their early deaths that made them so iconic?

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Btw, here are the results to the movie soundtrack quiz that Blue 944 won by guessing eight out of nine films correctly (though a couple of you knew the song titles):

1. Son of a Preacher Man - Pulp Fiction
2. Brown Eyed Girl - Sleeping with the Enemy
3. Elephant Medley – Moulin Rouge
4. Under the Sea - Little Mermaid
5. In Your Eyes - Say Anything
6. A Fifth of Beethoven - Saturday Night Fever
7. Mustang Sally - The Commitments
8. Raindrops Falling on My Head - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid OR Forrest Gump
9. Everything I Do - Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Thanks for playing!

Are you then unable to recognize unless it has the same sound as yours?*

I guess it should be no surprise that the last post generated quite the comment buzz, and even Dick posted a link so some of his regulars also came over. The general breakdown of the way people felt about the topic didn’t surprise me, but some of the comments warrant a rebuttal post rather than a mere retort in the comments section.

It’s one thing to say that a compliment on your “bump” wouldn’t bother you as much as it does a woman, but it’s another thing entirely to invalidate that women have no right to feel that way in the first place. Every woman is different, but who are any of us to say how she should feel? And furthermore, the point was missed that I was not angry, but I felt uncomfortable. It’s as simple as that, and that’s all it should have to be when it comes to my own body.

Would your opinion have been different if I’d said off-line that I’m extremely cautious of men because I’d once been raped? Probably so. But, the reality is that no should have to say something like that to justify why he/she feels a certain way about a topic…anymore so than someone that doesn’t want to drink a beer shouldn’t have to explain that their parents were raging abusive alcoholics in order to avoid having people jibe him/her about their abstinence (yes, people still behave this way, even after college).

As for the comment about women that wear shirts intentionally to show cleavage, some do that…but not this one. And I don’t think it’s fair to make that assumption about me or any of the other ladies that commented when you’ve never even seen us before. I dress fairly conservatively, and I can’t help it if my shirt might be snug, but I don’t think I should have to wear a potato sack, either. But that entire argument as as asinine as saying that women that wear revealing clothing "deserve" to be attacked.

With any issue, having empathy is the ability to step in someone else's shoes and then having the courage to try to walk in them.

*Euripedes


And on another note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister-in-law Jessica. She doesn't have her own blog, but comments quite regularly. Hope you have a great day, Jess, and you can look forward to my tone-deaf serenade!

What's in a compliment?

Last week, Barry e-mailed me and said he noticed that I had a new picture up in my sidebar. I explained that I took the last one down because I was getting a few too many "nice boobs" comments from anonymous readers.

He countered that it's interesting that a woman would feel awkward with a remark like that, whereas many (nothing is universal) men would consider a woman noticing the size of his "bump" to be flattering. The difference, he reasoned, is that perhaps it's due to men's tendancy to be pleased by visual elements more so than women (the same idea that more men look at porn than women or go to strip clubs).

I said that I found it to be a little different when men I know will say something like "nice breasts in that shirt" versus a total stranger making a comment. It has more of a leering feeling that automatically sets my instincts in motion of wanting to be careful, watch out, and figure out if the person is sincere or a creepy Internet stalker (again, these are anonymous comments). I think it comes back to women being somewhat trained to put the protective guard up as soon as something doesn't feel quite right.

On the friend flipside, even though it doesn't bother me nearly as much, I would still honestly prefer to receive a compliment for my eyes, smile or wit. Perhaps these are my insecurities coming into play, but it's almost as if they're saying "while I like your breasts, the rest of you isn't good enough" because these aren't people that want to date me. The irony is that these are mostly just balls of fat, so it's interesting that oftentimes men want large breasts with a tiny body (surgical help not included, of course).

So, I toss this out to you. Women - does it bother you at all if you get a compliment on your breasts from friends or strangers? Men - would it bother you if women complimented your "bump?" It also shouldn't matter if you're married, but does it also make a difference if you find the complimentor to be attractive?

Name that Tune

Following are some tunes to movie soundtracks that are just dying to be identified. Now, remember no cheating online or in the comments above:) These films range from 1969 to 2001, and I have to admit that I'm anxious to see if any men can get #3.

Song #1


Song #2


Song #3


Song #4


Song #5


Song #6


Song #7


Song #8


Song #9

Triple crown post

First thing, please go on over and check out my guest post on Linda's site. Linda is in the process of moving from Hawaii to Texas (Dallas area), and I posted 10 things to help her adjust to the culture change over there. I know many of you are in Texas (and even from the South), so please be sure to comment with anything that's important that I might've left out.

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Clerks 2: B-
If you're a fan of the original Clerks, then chances are that you'll at least be entertained by this latest installment -- 10 years later. The Quik Stop burns down, forcing Dante and Randal to make a huge leap to a ficticious fast-food place called Mooby's (complete with a burger called The Cow Tipper). It's Dante's last day of work, as he's about to jump ship to Florida with his far-out-of-his-league fiance' to go mooch of her parents and work at a car wash. Rosario Dawson is thrown in there as the Mooby's boss and third corner of a potential Dante love triangle.

The main drawback to this film is that most of the better lines/gags/scenes are in the trailer. Where it differs from the first one is that they actually try to resolve story arcs all in this one day. It just feels forced, rather than letting Randal and Dante realistically improvise and banter with the various people that come in and out of the store. The most entertaining character was Mr. Pillow Pants, Elias, as a naive 19-year-old co-worker of the Mooby twins.

If you've never seen a Kevin Smith film, this is not the place to start. You need to check out Chasing Amy, his best film by far. This film, like the first, is rather raunchy and crude, in case that isn't your cup of tea. Now bear in mind, this does not factor into my rating, for it was expected and it's not something that bothers me (as long as it's entertaining).

As an example of how disjointed this particular film is, Jay imitates the serial killer dress-up dance from Silence of the Lambs (which is hilarious) and then there's a cheesy dance number to the Jackson 5's "ABC." Here's another edict for filmmakers: no more high-school-looking group dance routines unless they are either: 1) skilled at it so we're impressed OR 2) funny with it so we can laugh.

The Heart of the Game: A
This documentary follows Seattle's Roosevelt High School girl's basketball coach and his team for six seasons as they try to win the state championship. Miramax picked this up, and it's in limited release, but if you like documentaries, I highly recommend this one. It's easily as good as any scripted "rah-rah" spirited sports movies, only it's the genuine goods.

You have to like a coach that has a theme each year for his team, including Pride of Lions, Pack of Wolves, Tropical Storms, and has rally cries for games like "draw blood." And as always, it's nice to see a bit of "girl power."

Quickie takes

A while back, I did a one-sentence opinion of the immigration issue, and Wendy suggested that I try it as a feature. Admittedly, I have hard and soft news included, so here it goes:

Duke rape case: How can DNA evidence be enough to convict but not enough to exonerate?

Oprah and Gayle are gay: If two women can’t be close friends without being called gay, then I’ve been gay since I was about seven.

Israel/Middle East: Peace is impossible with two groups that have beliefs for which they’ll not hesitate to die and kill for.

Luxury liner keeling over: How ironic, and yet creepy, is it that they were scheduled to show Titanic that night? That’s like watching Alive on an airplane.

Stem cell research: Nobody is going to kill their baby or choose to not have a child for this cause -- these are embryos are those that would’ve been destroyed anyway, and the intent is to save lives.

Is there really a Suri Cruise?: Numerous pictures of Katie Holmes have never showed a baby in her arms (even covered up), including when traveling abroad. I can’t imagine any mom leaving their newborn like that.

Witnesses that watched a 64-year-old man being stabbed with power saws on a NY subway platform and did NOTHING: sickening.

Christie Brinkley’s husband cheating on her with a 19-year-old: In the words of Paulette from Legally Blonde, if a woman like her can’t keep her man, then what chance to the rest of us have?

Two questions, two cents

So, I'm having a four-way (chat, you pervs) the other night with Barry, Michael and Logtar the other night, and I'd made a comment that I had Star Trek 2 in my Netflix queue. It seems to be the ultimate guy movie that maybe one woman really wants to see, so I thought it would be interesting to watch (at some point) and do a post on it.

And that got me to ask the question if there's an equivalent "chick flick" out there that just about every woman likes, but not many men. Most of the movies from that genre that I like tend to appeal to men as well, like The Notebook, Shakespeare in Love, or When Harry Met Sally.

The closest we came to was Titanic, but it was a lukewarm conclusion, for I know just as many women that didn't care for it as men that liked it (with the disaster special effects and Kate Winslet boobage). And was that you, Logtar, that said you actually cried when Jack died -- out of happiness? From a TV angle, I would probably vote for Sex and the City, but it's still not a movie so it doesn't count.

Is there such a film that universally appeals to women but not to men?

_______________________________

On another somewhat unrelated note, have any of you suddenly had your tongue swell up to the point where it hurts to eat, and your mouth feels dry? This happened to a friend whom I'll call Betty. And Betty says that it feels like she drank about five sweet sugary drinks (like amaretto sours, for example), but she hasn't. Nor has she done or eaten anything unusual that should've caused this. Anyone? Bueller?

It's always hard out there for a pimp

We all have them. We all try to avoid them at some time or another. What I’m referring to are friends that sell…something.

It can range from anything like Avon to insurance to mortgages to – and something I can relate to – real estate. You often cringe when you see that person because you’re afraid they might try to push for their wares on you (yet again), as if the normal topics for a friendship are no longer relevant.

When I was watching The Break Up earlier this summer (the one with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn), they had a realtor friend that sat them down to talk about their break up, and his “solution,” of course, was to sell their condo. And I say “of course” because none of you are probably surprised based upon stereotypes of people that sell…something, and even real estate in particular.

I never wanted to be that creepy friend when I sold real estate, so I really tried to avoid the topic and not make people feel awkward. But, it’s a two-way street. I think it was fair to expect the people I know not to exploit me for “free” information that would be used to validate another realtor that was going to get his/her business. My time was just as valuable, and I would rather not have spent it working on a pro bono basis, just as corporate-employed people wouldn’t want their bosses asking them to put in useless hours for free on a weekend.

And this isn’t limited to real estate or even sales, but any type of customer service industry where people often blur the boundaries between friendship and business. Some people I know do website development, and they are often asked by friends to do something for little-to-no value, and these friends often become the most demanding clients. They expect quicker turnaround times and make far more changes than those that are paying for it.

So, what’s really the point of this? One is that we should all be cognizant of turning ourselves into pimps or friends into our bitches. And two is that I had the urge to find a way to incorporate pimps, bitches, Avon and Jennifer Aniston into one post.

change is good

People are often asking me if I miss working in real estate, and after three months of having a "regular" job, I can safely say that about the only thing I do miss is the fact that Sunday nights didn't seem to suck quite nearly as much.

Now that I'm back in marketing, I like the fact that things are much more reliable, consistent and routine. I feel more comfortable knowing when I'm going to get paid and that it's twice a month, instead of possibly going four months without a check. Eventually, I would like to buy fixer uppers for potential income, but it's different when it's going back into your own pocket.

I also like the fact that when I'm away from the office, I'm really "off." In real estate, I felt chained to my phone, as other agents and clients called all day and night without any regard for a personal life. I can actually plan to go out at night or on weekends, without the angst or disclaimer of "well, a client might call and want to meet," as they often did without any notice. One time, a potential new client called me at 6:4o p.m. on a weeknight and wanted to meet at 8 p.m. that same night, never once asking if I had kids or other plans.

Anyone that says "well, just don't answer the phone" has never been self-employed, for it's far easier than it seems (especially when it's been three months since you've been paid). The 4th of July weekend was the first time I'd had four days off in four years, for people never stopped calling, even when they knew I was attempting to take a vacation.

The trade off is that I can't do all of my errands during the work week, but I still think it's worth it. One of the great things about Seattle is that the employers are fairly progressive and laid-back, so things like doctor's appointments, airport runs or even a kid's baseball game can be worked around without getting much hassle (unlike my previous employers). Agency life is often even more lenient in terms of structuring the work day, as long as the tasks are completed and the desired minimum billing hours are reached. I have some colleagues that work 8 - 4; some 10-6; some 9-5.

As with my move to Seattle, I have no complaints about my transition back into the corporate world. The sacrifices that I was expected to make -- at least as a realtor -- were not the kind that I wanted to. Part of me feels like something is amiss, since my phone rings about a tenth as much as it used to, but I have no regrets.

And that's just how I like it.

i don't like being a fool

It seems like summer tends to bring about posts of remembering childhood and things we used to do. I think that a lot of it comes from that desire to lose our inhibitions and be completely free again. Not worry about how people think. Not worry about how we’ll look. The time before, you know, manners and social decorum kicked in.

I’m currently taking a non-credit acting class through a community college here. I used to be in plays through high school, but I didn’t think I had enough talent to warrant pursuing it. I’m primarily taking it for fun, to meet people, and see if I might be decent enough to try for something small with community theatre.

One of the key points that the instructor keeps making is that in order to really “go for it” on stage, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. You have to trust the other actors and the audience. You can’t worry about what others think or how you’ll look; you must become the character. You have to let people see your pain, your anger, and your love – despite the fact we go through life hiding these emotions.

So, many of our exercises through the first three weeks have been efforts to break down some of those walls and build up trust. Last week, we had to speak in gibberish for a short while; this week, we had to act like a fool for a minute. And, I’ll be the first to admit that I have the hardest time with these tasks compared to my classmates. My earth-shattering fool activity tonight involved me falling down over and over. Creative, huh? Would either activity have been difficult for you?

Though I know that I do have fairly reserved behavior in public (and especially around new people), I never quite realized the kinds of barriers that I have up. If you’d told me a month ago that I would have a hard time being a dork for a minute or allowing myself to be blind-folded and “passed” around a bunch of strangers, I wouldn’t have believed you.

It’s not like I always care what other people think, but for some reason, in this instance, I do. And though I honestly think that once I pick up a script, I’ll do just as well as any of the others (the other tactic is to channel in your own personal drama), I still can’t help but wish that I could be that free-wheeling, Kool-Aid mouthed, pig-tail wearing kid again.

Don't you?

(Now, don't be a smart ass and say that you don't want to be a free-wheeling, Kool-Aid mouthed, pig-tail wearing type of kid).

So say you

In the interest of catching up on some sleep (like right now), I'd like to have a short post and see how you finish this sentence (extra admiration points for creativity):

You know you're good friends when...

wedding stories

I went to a wedding this past Saturday, and here's a pic of me and some of my peeps (Vanessa, moi, Brook and Tiffany). Is it me or does Vanessa kind of look like Renee Zellweger?

As with most weddings, there are a couple of stories. My friend, Brook, just had her first baby about three weeks ago. At some point during the ceremony, she got up with the baby to feed or change the diaper. But, what was funny is that afterward she told us that she was asking herself, "why is that baby crying?" and then realized "oh yeah, that's MY baby." Yeah, okay, so you have to be there.

Once we hit the reception, we ran into another friend of theirs who I'll call Dave. Dave was running late to the wedding, so he quickly pulled into the church parking lot and followed the last bit of crowd in through the side entrance of the church. He grabbed the program and sat down, only to realize that he was at...a memorial service for someone else at the church across the street from the wedding. Since everyone was already sitting down, Dave felt it would be in poor taste to get up and leave, so he stayed for the entire thing. But hey, it made for a great story:)


Here are my friends, Mary and Erin. Mary's face is narrower in this pic than in real life, but I think she looks like Mary Elizabeth Mastratonio from The Abyss and Robin Hood.

Erin is holding Brook's baby, Raymond, and as she was walking around with him, apparently several people walked by and whispered, "do you think that's really her baby?"

Movies R Us

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest: C.

I so really wanted to like this movie. The fact that I can rate a Johnny/Orlando film this poorly means that I can be truly objective. I never would've thought that I would rather go home and watch my Netflix of Battlestar Galactica more than my Man Sandwich (ladies, if you saw Jamie Bamber, then you would know of what I speak). Pirates 2 is a classic example of why good movies should be left alone and not attempt a sequel.

I admit that others in my theatre seemed to enjoy themselves as well as my movie buddy, but this installment just lacked the creativity and "zing" that the first one had. Perhaps my expectations were too high, but in all fairness, there isn't a decent sword fight until the last 30 minutes of this 2 1/2-hour film and my sense of humor hasn't changed in three years. If something is funny, I'll laugh at it. I promise. I still crack up at Jack's entrance in Part 1 on that sinking dingy and I've probably seen it 12 times.

The plot for this installment drags out a bit, especially since it's an obvious transition piece to Part 3 (which comes out next summer). In this one, Elizabeth, Will and the now-absent Commodore Norrington are under arrest by the East India Trading Company for allowing/helping Jack Sparrow go free. I hadn't quite figured out its jurisdiction on the issue, but it didn't really matter since they were already leap-frogging into another storyline. In an effort to pardon themselves, Elizabeth and Will agree to get Jack's freaky compass that doesn't point north.

Where does Davy Jones come in, you ask? We soon find out that Jack sold his soul to Davy Jones in exchange for being "allowed" to command The Black Pearl for 13 years (funny how that didn't come up in Part 1). In a rather sloppy script that feels more like chaos management, Elizabeth and Will get entangled and we suddenly find ourselves finally seeing some action two hours later.

There are some good scenes and some interesting lines, but not nearly as many as the first film. The big (and only) swordfight in the film had its moments, but instead of letting us watch a cleverly choreographed scene play out uninterrupted, the editors chose to clip back and forth between the fight and whatever Elizabeth was up to (as if we cared). I thought it was interesting that Elizabeth sports an amazing tan by the time the film is finished, even though the movie occurs over a course of just a few days.

The antagonist of Davy Jones and his crew of half man/half barnacle were, quite frankly, diconcerting to look at for more than a few seconds. Davy Jones' face is filled with moving tentacles that continually make that sucking/sloshing sound, and most of the other crew members have some type of sea matter growing out of their face or they've evolved into whatever CGI sea creature the art department could think of. While you do find out what's in The Dead Man's Chest, they don't really ever explain the backstory of Davy Jones' predicament or who he was before he became Pasta Face.

What's different compared to the first is that you could actually watch the "bad" pirates act, esp. when they were in their human forms. They also fought like pirates and attacked ships with cannons and boarding parties swinging from ship-to-ship, rather than the snore-worthy tactic of large tentacles that wrap around a ship and draw it straight down into the ocean (insert sarcastic whoo-hoo). We lost the swash-buckling pirate spirit from the first film, and everything that was unique about that way of life was sacrificed by the studio's own hypocritical "sell-out" to top the first with new sets, new characters, and new storylines. It almost seemed like it was directed by Michael Bay.

Hopefully for Part 3, they'll remember the witty dialogue, action sequences, and did I mention the sword fights?

The Devil Wears Prada: B.

There's two reasons to watch this film: the fashion and the genius of Meryl Streep.

The film was adapted from a semi-autobiographical book written by a woman that was an assistant to Vogue editor, Anna Wintour.

Enter Streep as Runway's bitch-doesn't-quite-do-it-justice editor-in-chief. Anne Hathaway plays her newest assistant, Andy, who is there just to pay her dues for a year and then have the opportunity to write for a "real" magazine, like The New Yorker.

And that's about it in terms of the plot. We see how Miranda's devil-like behavior affects the entire office, and how Andy gradually succumbs to the allure of this powerful position and access to damn fine clothes, thus affecting her personal relationships. The dialogue is fairly witty with much of it centered around fashion, anorexia, etc. (the best line is "I'm one stomach flu away from my goal weight").

The movie follows the book fairly well, but the screenwriters did take some liberties with some of Miranda's character and the end. They also changed small details that I couldn't figure out why, like Andy's boyfriend's name and what he did for a living. One of the major drawbacks with the film is that I read the book about three weeks ago, so I felt somewhat antsy throughout the film and just wanted it to "move on already." I also thought they would show more of the fashion, and not show Miranda and Andy in montages where you see them in 10 different outfits in about 60 seconds.

Overall, it's an entertaining film. If you've seen the previews and you liked them, then you'd probably enjoy it. Fortunately, this is the exact type of movie that you don't have to see on the big screen to appreciate, so catch up with it in a few months.

potty talk

As many of you know, I’m consistently amused by the difference in how men and women approach the same thing. Take going to the restroom, for instance. At my office, the women are outnumbered by the men by at least 2-to-1.

At our happy hour last week, it somehow came up that the guys were downright giddy that someone had brought in a Ski Patrol magazine for restroom perusal. The existing literature was limited to Dell catalogs and a PC magazine, which did not encourage the apparent much-needed relaxation time on the toilet. One guy even commented that he could “now take his time since he has something interesting to read.”

I almost spewed my drink at the time in thinking of the overall honesty that men have about their pooping habits, while women not only do not talk about it in mixed company but we often deny that it we even have to do it in the first place. And when we absolutely must, it is certainly not at a public venue unless we are practically turtling. And we certainly would never consider the office toilet to be a normal alternative to taking a coffee break because it would be mortifying to get “caught” by another employee mid-act.

Not only are men comfortable with doing it and not caring who hears them, but also I’ve heard that they even ask stall neighbors to “courtesy flush” when the smell is too ripe. For women, we would NEVER do that because pretending that you didn’t hear or smell anything whatsoever is keeping to The Code. Whenever you hear that a woman is unluckily having to go #2, your obligation is to hurry up and rush out so that the other is not needlessly embarrassed by having to make eye contact with the one that heard everything.

Even on Sex and the City, the girls commented once that they knew they were pretty serious with a guy when they felt comfortable enough to go #2 at his place (forget the "I love you"). The difference is that I can’t count how many times my brother or guy friends would get up to leave my place, only to say “wait, I have to go to the bathroom,” at which time I would try to say “you can't bomb and run,” but it was always too late. I’d force the guy to spray and turn on the fan before I’d allow him to exit and then he’d have to shut the door quickly behind him. Why couldn’t they just wait until they get to their own house?

And this would be where I'm supposed to insert a witty closing quote, but I'm too tired and my computer just crashed on me (but fortunately recovered my post). Perhaps I owe it a courtesy flush, er, reboot?

About last night...

UPDATE: I have Internet so I can wish Miss Jen from Passion Knit a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Please go on over and drop her a line because she could really use some nice words right now. Not only did her father pass away three weeks ago, but she and her husband were burglarized late last week and the fuckers took just about everything they could pawn.


I may or may not have Internet access when I get home this evening to post again, due to the cable going out as a result of this happening about 100 feet away from my building at 1:30 a.m. last night. If you really want to see something cool, click on the "raw video of blazing fire" link.

And yes, the boys and I never heard the alarms or sirens, though we were repeatedly woken up from people going in and out of the building (I thought they were 4th of July late partiers). The smoke was so thick when I walked them this morning that it looked like fog -- I could hardly see. My building was not evacuated, which I assume is probably due to the wind direction, since they did with the houseboats that were further away.

On another note, this was last night's view of Lake Union about two hours before the fire. All those dots on the water are boats, which kind of reminded me of D-day looked like in Saving Private Ryan.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...

Superman Returns: B+

I have to admit that I really, really enjoyed this latest installment for Superman, but I also freely admit that my opinion may be slightly biased because I do believe that I may have found my next husband in Brandon Routh. A girl can dream, right?

In this particular film, Superman has just returned to Earth from a five-year trip to explore whether there might actually be remains of Krypton. Much has happened in his absence with the most important aspect being that Lois Lane (played by Kate Bosworth pictured above) has moved on with two other men -- her child and fiance, Richard (played by James Marsden who is probably the hottest guy ever that always comes in #2). Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (played by Kevin Spacey) is up to no good, and trying to find some new way to rule the world. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

I re-watched the original Superman with Christopher Reeve the morning that I saw this one, so it's easy for me to make the comparisons between the two. The first is the obvious that Routh looks like Reeves' ghost or long-lost son, especially with the shellacked "super hair." Even Routh admitted on Regis & Kelly that he realized that he had that in his favor (and dressed up as Superman the Halloween before he auditioned for the role). A nugget of trivia is that Routh met with director Bryan Singer for the part at a coffee shop, and spilled a cup of coffee all over himself. Thinking that cost him the part, Singer actually felt reassured that Routh could also play the klutzy Clark Kent side of the role (though admittedly, Reeve was better at transforming into Kent, including changing his voice).

I honestly can't decide if I liked Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane because I couldn't help but compare her to Smallville's much sassier version (I was never a fan of Margot Kidder). I also can't figure out why actresses that either wear a wig or have their hair dyed brown for a role seem to have the ugliest shade of brown I've ever seen, as if it somehow gives them more credibility to be taken seriously as a career-minded woman?

If you read any of the trade mags about the film, director Bryan Singer is a huge fan of Superman, and incorporated many references from the original film, including exact lines of dialogue. Some may have thought this to be unoriginal, but I saw it as more of a geeky fan boy paying an homage to the "master" and didn't mind it. John Williams' score is also used in this film, which (and I'm not exaggerating) literally caused the people in my audience to clap and cheer whenever it came on.

No surprise here, but the effects in this film are absolutely superb (especially if you're a fan of Singer's first two X-Men films). Many short snippets of these scenes are in the previews, so they're not spoiler-ish, but the shot where you see a bullet hit Superman's eyeball literally makes you stop breathing for a second and want to worship the CGI-gods.

The downside to the film is that the plot is actually fairly weak, and I found myself almost bored whenever Superman/Clark Kent wasn't onscreen (even with Kevin Spacey as Luthor). I might admit that it's because of my new-found crush for Brandon Routh, except that many others have felt the same way. I didn't even care about the entire Lex Luthor sub-plot, but just wanted Superman to go around saving people because that's what we're there for, right? There are also many holes throughout the story and you can't help but continue to ask yourself questions like "how did Lex know where the Fortress of Solitude was?"

I realize that most superhero movies have plots that are somewhat diabolical, unrealistic and far-fetching, but filmmakers still have to stay true to consistency even when within their made-up world. You can't have Lois bounced around a plane like a rag doll and not sustain injuries. You can't have her jump feet first into a body of water (with an evening gown on, no less) and then suddenly be face down as though she'd dived in. You can't have Lex Luthor sail to shore of an Artic land mass in a luxury yacht when anyone that reads Clive Cussler knows that you need an ice breaker.

I also admit that I'm not a comic book reader, so my exposure to the main superhero stories is limited to these theatrical releases (and by that, I mean "the man trilogy" of Superman, Spiderman and Batman). I found myself more excited about this Superman film than the other incarnates (as much as I liked them), and I was trying to figure out why. In Batman, Bruce Wayne's powers/abilities come from his suit and toys; Spiderman acquires his through the spider bite, whereas Superman's are innate. He IS Superman. He doesn't wear a mask when he's the superhero (unlike the other two), but wears his disguise for the alter-ego private life of Clark Kent. With Spiderman and Batman, I often found myself more intrigued by the toys and/or villians than I was about the main character, and I felt just the opposite with Superman. Peter Parker comes across as whiney to me and I just want him to put his suit on and shut up, and Bruce Wayne can often seem quite arrogant, but you can't help but like the dorky, sincere and good-hearted Clark Kent (and why a pair of horned rimmed glasses keeps people from making the connection, I'll never know).

At this point, this is my favorite movie of this summer season so far (which could change with Pirates of the Caribbean 2 this weekend). Despite the flaws I mentioned above, this one is still worth seeing in the theatres.

And the answers are...

What I find so fascinating about movies (or any type of art, for that matter) is how differently they affect each viewer. We all have a couple of movies that will always be one of our favorites. The ones that shook you too the core and caused you to think, question and consider.

I think the movie that has affected me the greatest was Dead Poet's Society waayyyy back in 1989. I was 15 years old and right about the same age as most of the students being lead by Robin Williams' John Keating. The age where the lessons of individualism and following your dream need to be heard. One could say that he was a 1950s version of Socrates "corrupting" the young by teaching them to be free-thinkers. Though I have liked many movies since then, no other has really affected me to the same extent.

Even when I was going to select the quote to use (b/c "Carpe Diem" and "O Captain, My Captain" were a little too obvious), it was difficult for me to to choose because there are so many good ones. If you have never seen it before, this is one movie I highly recommend. It's hard to gauge whether it would have the same impact if I'd seen it for the first time at 32, but I do think it's a timeless story that people of any age can appreciate.

Now, on to the answers (the actual quotes are listed in the post below):

1. Dazed and Confused - said by Wooderson played by Matthew McConaughey (if you've never seen it, it's a quintessential last day of school party day set in 1976 with many "before they were stars" actors).

2. The Notebook - said by Duke played by James Garner at the very beginning. My favorite romantic/love story...ever. It's so realistic and sweet -- and even every man that I know that has seen it has liked it. So, it's not just a chick flick:) This would be my #2 movie to ever recommend to anyone to watch.

3. I thought "one ring to rule them all" might be too obvious. Now, you probably get that it's from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring said by Aragorn, played by Viggo Mortenson (when they were forming the fellowship).

4. Dead Poets Society

5. Gladiator -- said by Lucilla played by Connie Nielsen at the very end.

6. Apollo 13 -- said by Blanche and Marilyn Lovell, played by Ron Howard's mom and Kathleen Quinlan (respectively). Considering we already knew the outcome of the real story, I'm on the edge of my seat whenever I watch this. And, I've had dinner with the real-life Gene Kranz (played by Ed Harris in the movie).

7. Pirates of the Caribbean -- said by Captain Jack Sparrow played by Johnny Depp.

8. Shakespeare in Love -- said by Queen Elizabeth played by Judi Dench (who won an Oscar for that role) when Lord Wessex was seeking permission to marry Viola (Gwyneth Paltrow who won her Oscar for her role). Another romantic "chick flick" that many men I know have actually liked.

9. The Usual Suspects -- said by Verbal Kent played by Kevin Spacey (who won one of his Oscars for his role). This was the directorial debut for Kevin Singer who has gone on to do do the first to X-Men movies and now the latest Superman. This is a great crime film, though admittedly it's fairly dark and gritty.

10. Black Hawk Down -- said by Sargeant Eversmann played by Josh Hartnett when several of the men were questioning why they should even be involved in what was going on in Somalia in 1993. Like Apollo 13, I like movies that tell the stories of real-life events and of people that risk their lives for whatever reason and hardly receive any attention for it.

Now, what are a couple of the movies that really shook you to the core or that you think everyone ought to see?