Menage a dog

I now have two males seeking after me. In the picture is my terrier, Reese, and one of my brother's long-haired dachsunds, Kona. Andrew and Jessica have three dogs, and will have difficulty moving with all of them this week, so I've offered to take Kona off their hands so Reese can have a playmate of sorts. Kona is such a sweet and lovable dog -- more of a lapdog than Reese (who is fun but likes to spend his evening cruising under the bed).

The unfortunate thing is that Kona walked off my mom's second story balcony a few months ago, and although the vet they brought him to three times said Kona is okay, his hind legs seemed not quite right. So, in light of potentially taking him on as my new boy, I took him to another vet who owns five of his own mini-dachsunds and he said that the fall has hurt Kona.

His left leg has a skeletal issue that is now too-far-gone to change, and the right has a spinal cord compression. I can still help him with the compression -- how you ask? By letting him swim around in my bathtub as his physical therapy (I shit you not). I've also been taking him walking with Reese and he seems to be doing better, like he wants to try to keep up with Reese. You can see in the video below how walks kind of like a bowl-legged drunk. Poor thing will get going so fast that he will just topple over on his side.

Anyway, this two dog thing is kind of new to me. They both seem to want to eat out of the same bowl, even though I tried two different bowls. And, they both want to eat the others' food (Kona is on puppy food still, at seven months). Whenever I show affection for one, the other has to come up alongside. I think Reese has wanted more love in the past couple of days than in the past two weeks now that there's "competition" (doesn't it always work that way?). Fortunately, I don't seem to have to deal with the male territory thing yet, or at least not inside.

Below is a quickie video I shot with my cam in an effort to call the boys to me. You even get a sample of my Darth Vader voice (though the first call was made in that weird habit to call to a dog in a higher pitch -- why? I don't know). Reese just cracked me up at the end, so you get my sinister laugh too. Now, doesn't that just make your Friday? The person who comes up with the best thought that was just going through Reese's mind gets some Kona coffee sent directly to their front door.

Sometimes it's best to just call the game

I watched The Way We Were a little while ago from my Netflix queue in an effort to catch up on movies before my time that are relatively well known. If you haven’t seen it and don’t want it to be spoiled, then don’t continue reading.

The 1973 movie stars Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand who try to make a relationship work, but one of them realizes that they are just too different to be compatible. Even if you can get along on the surface, oftentimes a few disparities, especially those that are a high priority to one party, are too much. The movie itself was just okay, but I was intrigued by the fact that it was such an atypical, yet realistic, love story.

I often wonder if there’s such a high rate for divorces nowadays because people are trying to force things to feel “right,” or make excuses for red flags just because they want to get married? I’ll admit that I was probably guilty of this with my former marriage, but I can tell you that I refuse to make the same mistake twice. And furthermore, I feel the need to try to help others keep from making it as well.

It’s almost like you have this escalation of commitment as you date someone, and there’s this feeling that once you reach a certain point, you simply can’t call it quits. Society seems to have these expectations of how relationships are supposed to work – on this schedule of sorts – and the theory of groupthink comes into play here, like there’s an obligation to keep to this well-established plan just because everyone else is doing it. And heaven forbid, we should fracture the fairy tale for others.

I don’t see what’s so wrong with just saying that two people just aren’t a good fit because it’s the same idea as trying to put a square peg into a round hole. Another myth that needs to be shattered is that one party says it won’t work, it does not mean that they are “better” than the other person. It’s like oil and water. Just because they don’t mix doesn’t mean they’re damaged goods.

Hubbell Gardner: I don't see how you can do it.
Katie Morosky Gardner: And I don't see how you can't

If you don’t have the foundations in-line, then there’s no support for long-term stability. Some people just aren’t meant to be together. And that’s okay.

It is your choice

One of the movies I got from Netflix right before my trip to Seattle was a movie called P.S. with Laura Linney and Topher Grace. The movie itself was rather dull and uneventful, but I liked a quote that Linney’s brother says to her character in the movie:

“Dignity is a choice. You can either let it take you down or you can do something about it.”

This really stuck out to me because I’ve often found myself having difficulty listening to someone complain over and over about the same problem, when it is within his/her capacity to fix and he/she refuses to do. Though I realize there are legitimate reasons to divert one from his/her goals (like needing to take care of a sick relative), I cannot understand the inability to not take any sort of action – ever.

You don’t like your job? Then, start looking for another. Can’t afford the pay cut? Then decide if you need that particular car, large house or expensive clothing. Your relative is pissing you off? Talk to them about it, instead of letting it stew to the point where you explode. You think your fiance's an idiot? Then don't marry the dumbass.

It seems as though the world is divided into two people: those who wait for things to happen and those who make things happen. I’ve never really been one of those with any sort of luck, so I quickly realized that in order to get what I want, I had to doggedly pursue it instead assuming it would be handed over. I have a hard time relating to and respecting those who just bitch and are all talk with no action because everything worthwhile – love, careers, family -- is a challenge.

Now, I do feel that there is a difference between those who try to make a change and don't succeed versus those who are too afraid to make the effort in the first place. I far more respect those who foul out than the ones who won’t even step into the batter’s box (how’s that for a cliché?). We all have our own story; some just choose not to share it. But, it's how we react to it that gives us strength, character and defines us.

In reading what I’ve written so far, I realize how it makes me sound very intolerable of others and that may be true, but I don’t think anyone can accuse me for constantly having my hand out and just expecting others to solve my problems just because I'm miserable.

And that is my dignity by choice.

Aloha from Seattle

The weather was awesome today with temps starting out in the 70s with a breeze. It did get up to 81 for the high, but it was so much easier without the humidity. I could've easily walked around in shorts, though I was in jeans and still comfy. Brook took me all around Seattle today, into the various neighborhoods, as the city's official "recruiter." This shot was taken from West Seattle of the downtown skyline.






My one request was a delicious seafood meal, where they just threw the shit on the table, so I got it at The Crab Pot on one of the Piers. Don't Brook and I look sexy in our bibs? Oh yeah, Brook kicks more ass b/c she stocked her fridge with Diet Pepsi, just for moi.








The aftermath. Note the bib is still clean. And yes, Brook actually ate some, too. Am I the only person that eats my seafood with ketchup? Seriously, how is that any worse than greasy butter?
















This is a shot of West Seattle from the pier right near where we ate. I just love this view of the water.

Famous Pike Street Market where they sing and throw the fish to each other. Unfortunately, they only do it when someone buys something, and no one was buying (I'd seen them do it the last time I was here anyway). The market area also has a lot of fresh flowers and fruits/veggies.

Seattle isn't as renown for its hills as San Francisco, but I wanted to show how they can be just as steep which is good for walking off your lunch. Again, I love the way the ocean is almost peeking out from behind the buildings. I'd forgotten what a neat city this was. Maybe because I was too busy getting ready to move back to Hawaii. Definitely gives me a lot to think about in terms of where I feel most at-home.

I saw this sign, and of course, had to think of Ms. Jade from Jaded Sunburns. Tomorrow, we are off to the coast for the bachelorette party, but I won't be able to blog from there, so no update until Sunday night. Have a great weekend everybody!

Worth remembering

This afternoon, I took advantage of the opportunity to take a break from work and joined my brother (Andrew) and sister-in-law (Jessica) and Jessica's brother's family (did you get all that?) in a trip to the Arizona Memorial. I've been to the Arizona many times, but I never get tired of it, for I love anything having to do with American History. This was taken from the ferry on the way to the Arizona.


This is the far wall of the memorial, where the names of those who died on the Arizona are etched. There were 23 sets of brothers and a father/son duo. It's called the shrine room, and needless to say, people are always speechless when they enter.




When you're standing on one side of the Memorial, this is the view, which is the #3 Gun Turret from the ship. Because Pearl Harbor is so shallow, the ship is basically sitting upright, with its deck just a couple of feet below the surface. They actually removed the mast, other turrets -- anything sticking out of the water after the sinking. The white buoy out there marks the end of the bow.


You can see the oil that continues to leak from the innards of the Arizona. Over 1,000 men are entombed within the ship below.

There's a hole in the middle of the Memorial, so you can look straight down below. You can see how close to the surface the ship really is.

From the back of the Arizona Memorial, you can see the USS Missouri, the ship upon which the Japanese unconditonally surrendered to Gen. MacArthur. It is also a non-profit museum available for tours. To the right, you see those white blocks that mark where other ships were anchored on Dec. 7, 1941. The one on the far right was the USS Tennessee and the USS Oklahoma was on the left.


This is the USS Bowfin, a bonafide WW2 U.S. submarine available for touring. The causeway you see on the right-hand side is what will take you to Ford Island, where the Missouri is docked. ER fanatics may remember when Mark Green drove across it to show his daughter his childhood home. This bridge wasn't built until after I was in college, and ferries were the only mode of transportation.


A Japanese one-man suicide torpedo sub.

If you ever find yourself in Hawaii on vacation, Pearl Harbor is an absolute must.





A picture of my niece, Brittany (3) and I at the visitor's center. Brittany was told that they are moving to Arizona this summer, so when the introductory movie started up, Brittany announced "hey, they said Arizona!" It was cute, but not the best time to make an announcement. I wanted to post this picture to show how fried I look lately, just so you don't think I'm exaggerating:)



A picture of my niece Allison (1), who seems to be changing every time I see her. She's just the most cherubic baby with the prettiest eyes. This really has nothing to do with the Arizona except that it was taken as we were waiting in line. And, she's just too cute not to share.

To pay or not to pay

One of the on-going debates on The Anonymous Blogger’s site is that he feels that women want equality in every form, except in dating, and that they should offer to pay. I’ve been trying to think of how to respond to that, as I can honestly see both sides of this issue.

It is challenging to date in a society where women are still taught by their mothers that we should not make the first move nor ever reach for our wallets. On the other hand, men in Generation X or later who grew up after the Feminist movement have had the principles of equality beaten into them, as though it was always the norm.

What we have here is a dating dilemma. Modern equality vs. old-fashioned romance.

When a woman is considered financially independent, does the likelihood that she will be “courted” drastically reduce than if the man dated a woman who made far less than him? Or, should it matter?

In my social circle, it seems the more independent and financially stable the woman is, the more likely she is to offer to pay or go dutch. Ironically, though, the women who never offer to pay are the ones who are still “wined and dined.”

It seems that there is an assumption that if a woman offers to pay, then she does not like “romance” and that the relationship turns into more of a business transaction where the two parties trade off. There’s nothing that says anti-romance more than sitting there when the bill comes and having the guy ask you, “is it my turn or your turn?”

The irony is that once I offer to pay the first time, I usually feel more “spoiled” by platonic male friends than the guys I’m dating – simply because of the way I’m treated after that point. Something in the dynamic really does change, and not usually for the better.

I just wonder if that might be the real reason why more women are hesitant to offer to pay -- because otherwise, it just somehow never seems to lead to that fairy tale ending.