Trifecta of movie reviews

Glory Road: B+. So what if it has Jerry Bruckheimer's typical cheesy soundtrack, rally cries, predictability and fast-forward/slow-motion shots? It's a great story about the underdog Texas Western University winning the NCAA title in 1966 using the first all-black team. Naturally, it changed the way basketball was played from that point on. It's also PG, so it makes for a good family movie, though obviously, racial issues are a big part of the film. Josh Lucas stars as Coach Dan Haskins and Jon Voight has a cameo as the Kentucky coach Haskins beats.


Match Point: A-. Woody Allen's most watchable movie in years. Set in London, it's the story of Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys Myers) marrying a rich bride that he seems to love more like a sister and then seduces Scarlett Johansson's Nola to satisfy that need for lust. Eventually, as the previews indicate, Nola wants Chris to leave Chloe, so what's a man to do? What's interesting about this movie is that you don't know where Allen is going to take it, for there are a number of possible endings. The script and the acting is engaging, for we've all been in the position where we wish we could have a "do over" in life.

Capote: B. Phillip Seymour Hoffman stars as Truman Capote, most famous for writing the non-fictional In Cold Blood about four brutal murders in Kansas in 1959. The movie follows Capote in his personal quest to find out how people that grow up in the same type of environment can turn out so differently. What makes someone murder in cold blood? Capote develops a special friendship with one of the killers, Perry Smith, as letters and visits are sprinkled throughout the film. Though the men are sentenced to death, they continue to get stay of execution, eventually frustrating Capote, who feels his book is not finished until the story finally ends. Hoffman won the Golden Globe for Best Dramatic Actor and is the current front runner to win the Oscar in March. It's brilliantly acted, especially when you remember that this man portraying a homosexual man in the 60s with a child-like voice was once the crazy mullet-haired man belting such lines as "He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage" in Twister. Catherine Keener has a supporting role as childhood friend and assistant Harper Lee, whose soon-to-be-famous To Kill a Mockingbird was about to be published. The one frustration I had with the movie, and perhaps it's from staying true to the story, is that we never do see Capote fully explore the "why" aspect to the killings and answer the question that he was so determined to ask. During the last act, he has more of a "let's just get this over" mentality and I found that be the case with film itself.

Brokeback Mountain review coming soon on MBc.com.

Nothing is certain

I've been somewhat reclusive over the past couple of months, mainly only going out if someone calls me versus making the effort to initiate anything. So, when my girlfriend Jamie called to go out last night... I had no real "excuse" so it was time to dust off the hair dryer and wipe the top layer of crust off my make-up. I think that fate had another hand in this timing, esp. in light of some of my recent blogs about relationships, for Jamie is getting married in June to Steve, the dude you see in the pic (they were on Kauai for this shot).

Now, maybe it's just me (and her) that laughs at the irony that a white girl from Hawaii winds up with a Vietnamese guy from Minnesota, but that's just the way it worked out. What I like about their story is that they are another example that there's no textbook way to find someone and make it work. Each person is different. Each couple has their own story.

Jamie and Steve met through EHarmony.com last March with her in Hawaii, and Jamie's profile said that she was willing to move, so it wasn't a huge issue with the geographic difference -- or at least, not to them. Through chatting, e-mails and numerous phone calls at least every other day, they developed a fast friendship and a mutual interest to explore the next level, so Steve booked a two-week trip to Hawaii in July. They met and realized the chemistry was no different in-person than via the other methods, and decided to get married by the end of those two weeks.

Holy crap, you say? Me too, but let's be honest, it is pretty cool that they are going out on that limb like that and are willing to take that risk. Oddly, they found out that they both thought to themselves, even prior to meeting, that "this is the person I think I'm going to marry" -- and even wierder, they discovered they both had this revelation on the EXACT same day. So, they are getting married in June here in Hawaii, and then Jamie will pack her bags and head for the frozen tundra of Minnesota (she grew up in Alaska, so not too much of a shock).

It's just nice to hear the "good" stories once in a while, instead of just ranting, so I wanted to share. Oddly, when I told my mom about Jamie/Steve, she said "you know, you should try that." Knowing how judgmental she can be about anything different from what Ms. Manners says is the right way to do anything, I asked "Why? You don't think it's wierd to do it online, long distance and for her to pick up and agree to move to be with him?" My mom's response just shocked me because, well, it actually made sense.

"Well, you tried it the traditional way the first time (I met my ex through friends) and it didn't work out, so who's to say you couldn't do something like Jamie?"

As hard as it is to admit, Mom may just have a point there, but I'm sure not going to tell her that:)

A touchy subject

First of all, Imagebank.com rocks. I cannot believe the images this thing has and doncha think it helps spice up the posts? Now, you're probably wondering what this is all about. Welcome to my real rant for the week...this is a long one and gets a little soap-boxy, so refresh your drink now.

A guy friend of mine (let's call him Brian) called me today to talk about a huge issue going on in his life. He belongs to this professional social group and he was suddenly kicked out by the group's "organizer," Claire. Let me back up a sec. Brian has been part of this group since its inception 18 months ago and was supposedly friends with Claire.

Apparently, what happened is that Claire and couple of the other female members were standing around gossiping, and one of them, Molly, had gone out on a date with Brian outside of this particular group. Well, things went terribly between them because of huge philosophical differences between their respective beliefs, and needless to say, no second date was ordered up by either party.

Molly discussed some of the details of this said date to the other girls, including Claire, and then another woman said that Brian had apparently touched her ass at one of their social events six months ago. Now, you will have to trust me when I say that it's totally and completely out-of-character for Brian to do something like this. If you're thinking "well, you just never know..." that's a bunch of horseshit. Imagine if your brother or good friend would do something like that -- that's how well I know Brian and believe that he would NEVER do that.

So, Claire just boots Brian out of the group based on what these two women said. First of all, the whole experience with Molly shouldn't have been discussed within this group anyway -- it was a private affair. Secondly, Claire didn't even bother to talk to Brian to get his side of the story, esp. when you factor in he'd been with the group for 18 months and even Molly had only joined a month ago. When Claire finally admitted who said he grabbed her ass, Brian has no clue who the girl is. Brian's pissed b/c he didn't get a chance to defend himself before the judgment was made, and by excommunicating him from the group, it sends a signal to the others that there was actual proof of his guilt.

What really chaps my ass, though, is that there are legitimate claims about this kind of thing that could possibly be ignored down the road as a result of these immature women. This happened to me once, back in college, where I was friends with this guy/girl that were kind of dating. Things seemed to be going well, until suddenly she says she was date raped. Whoa... I don't take this lightly, but at the same time, the details just didn't quite "add up," and I kind of began to question my friend's claim based on other things that would take far too long to explain.

To this day, 10 years later, I think she lied b/c this guy essentially turned her down, and she wasn't used it and resented him for it. But, what would've happened had she pursued this claim? This is someone's life you're talking about, not just a game. I know this sounds harsh, but let's face it, we've all heard stories about false accusations that are made and by the time the woman comes around to admitting her lie, hardly anyone notices. Or, what happens is that no one believes the next person who's telling the truth who's brave enough to come forward.

I can not understand these type of women who do things like this and play games, and unfortunately, it usually takes another woman to see what's really going on and call the bitch out. So, here is yet ANOTHER problem that can make men wary of women, as a whole gender, when it's really just a few bad apples that ruin in the entire bunch. I can't tell you how many times I get calls from other guys asking me "what is going on here..." This may be cruel and blunt to say, but there are a lot of vindictive women out there.

I had another guy friend soliciting for a new roommate on Roommates.com and this girl answered saying that she didn't want "a guy roommate who tried to hit on her." I told him that she sounded like a stupid bitch and that's exactly what she wants him to do. He went ahead and rented the second room to her and surprise.... she continually hits on him, gets jealous if he goes out on dates, repeatedly walks into his room without knocking, etc.

Honestly, I have no real way to end this, but it's 1:40 a.m. and I have to get to bed -- and it turns out I have to work tomorrow. I'm sure I'll think of a better conclusion as I'm lying there trying to fall asleep and then it will jolt me awake.

My blunt Korean hairdresser, Part 2

I swear, I don't know which is worse... a Korean hairdresser or a Southern Mom. I'm getting my hair done today and here's are our conversations:

Song: Oh, Becky, I have really good-looking guy for you.
Becky: Oh really (just to humor her b/c she does this to me every time)
Song: Yeah, he so good-looking. He hapa Japanese but pulls Asian ("hapa" means that you're half-white, so whatever race follows it means that you're half-white, half-Japanese, in this case). And, he's only been divorced twice.
Becky: Twice? What the hell are you thinking? Sounds like a really great match (Jesus Christ, since when had that become a "plus"). Does he have kids?
Song: Yeah, two, but they're already grown.
Becky: (head jerks around) How the hell old is this guy?
Song: Oh, he only 45
Becky: Shit, have you been hitting the crack pipe again? How old do you think I am, Song?
Song: But he look 30. He work out.

Apparently, my mother told Song that I was going to be going to California next week, so she started asking me about that.

Song: Who you going with?
Becky: No one. I'm going by myself. I need to get away and I've always wanted to drive up the coast.
Song: You going be all by yourself. Thas not safe.
Becky: No, I'll be fine. I'll stop driving at twilight.
Song: Well, how you going know where to go?
Becky: Uh... it's called looking at a map. I've gone to both LA and San Francisco and had no problems (where I fly in and then out of).
Song: Yeah, but who going read you directions?
Becky: I look at the map before I take off, it's not rocket science.
Song: What if you go down wrong road...how will you know?
Becky: Aaaaaaaaaack! Because I'm just fucking smart that way.

End of conversation.

Little bit of this, little bit of that

Lately, I seem to either have the time to post something of some substance or read through your blogs. I chose the latter this evening, so I leave you with the latest meme that has gone around the world, though I was only tagged once, by Barry from the Inn at the Last Home.

1. I notice far too much when I'm watching movies or TV shows in terms of continuity flaws, plot holes, etc. I will, at least, have the courtesy to not bitch until after the show is over. I can oftentimes predict the ending of movies b/c of things like the director giving this random actor too long of a close-up shot, who then winds up being the killer in the end. I seem to be able to forgive the show, 24, for all of it's issues because they provide me with what is literally orgasmic TV and continued to do so with the latest season's opener last night and tonight.

2. I have an insane ability to remember shit that doesn't matter like which movies this C-list actor has been in (hence, my studliness with the Kevin Bacon game). Or, chances are if you know that you wore that outfit the last time you saw me, I know it too. I need to find a way to channel this "talent" into a paying job.

3. I pick at imperfections on my face -- zits, blackheads, whatever, so that it's a pus-free zone. And I'd probably pick yours, too, if you asked.

4. I'm uncomfortable showing cleavage.

5. I love to get flowers, from any one for any reason, and it always makes me smile. Even though it's cliche, red roses are my favorite because I love red and it's just such an exquisite flower.

Now that you're enlightened, have a great day! Oh yeah, we did not get tickets to the Seahawks game this weekend, even with six of us trying for singles.

Great novel

I just finished reading "The Wedding"by Nicholas Sparks, who also wrote the book that became my favorite 2004 movie, The Notebook<>. The film is about a man who realizes that after he forgets his 29th wedding anniversary (Dumb Ass) that his wife has fallen out of love with him (rightly so), and tries to figure out a way to earn it back (good luck).

There's no man alive who can honestly say he understands women. It just isn't possible, so there's no use trying. But that doesn't mean you can't love them anyway. And it doesn't mean that you should ever stop doing your best to let them know how important they are to you.

One of my favorite quotes from the book, and yet so true. I don't think there's a greater emptiness than feeling like you don't matter anymore, whether you're a woman or man. I've often wondered if that's why some people might stay in abusive relationships -- because to them, at least having some type of attention is better than none at all.

I can speak on this frustration from personal experience, with this happening with two long-term boyfriends (that word sounds so juvenile, doesn't it?). One in college and one ending just about a year ago. I suppose I find myself in a quagmire in that I'm drawn towards men that are intelligent, independent and somewhat reserved -- which, unfortunately, doesn't always mean they can, want or even know how to make room for me.

This is probably one of the hardest things to do when I wipe the slate clean for each new person coming in to my life -- that fear of becoming invisible. It's fairly easy to spot a Son-of-a-Bitch or Dumb Ass fairly quickly, but it's quite difficult to gauge the complacency potential, esp. when it may happen months or years down the road. I want to be appreciated just as much at the 29th anniversary as the first, though I think that's a fairly normal expectation.

It's a constant struggle between the logical side and the emotional female side where I jump to worst-case scenario, esp. initially when I'm still trying to read them. Sometimes the "confusing" actions can be rationally explained, or he may, indeed, just be a Dumb Ass.

I'll just have to continue using my gut. And YOU, of course.

So, here's another friendly reminder to give your mate (or dog) a hug. I think Reese is starting to run for cover from me (actually, that was just another blatant show-off in that I figured out how to do links in my posts and only have about another 100 things to figure out).

Catholicism and Humor

I was raised in a fairly strict Catholic household growing up, until I was about 14 and my sibs and I went to live with our mother and step-father. Ever since then, I have never really felt comfortable with "The Church," questioning many of its doctrines in today's society, coupled with hypocrises that I've encountered from people who've followed this path. For instance, I cannot comprehend that only Catholics in this entire world of 6 billion to go to Heaven.

I'm not posting this in order to start a religous debate, in fact quite the opposite. My mom and I attended a play this evening called "Over the Tavern," about a Catholic family in 1959, where the 12-year-old son begins to question this faith as he's studying for his confirmation classes. It was actually quite funny, and I wanted to share some of the key lines, uttered by this kid. I don't think you need any Catholic "experiences" to appreciate.

Nun: So, are you prepared to become Christ's soldier?
Rudy: What does God need from a 12-year-old kid? Who is he going to war with -- an 11-year-old Protestant? At least the Army waits until you're 21.

Rudy praying to God: I still don't understand why we can't eat meat on Fridays during Lent. I mean, you come all the way down to Earth and that's the best you can do? Eddie (his bro) said you did it to give the Apostles a break on their fishing business, but they're dead and I'm still eating fishsticks on Fridays! And what is this about giving something up for Lent? Last year, I went without TV for an entire month, but you wound up coming back from the dead and I saw everything through re-runs anyway, so what's the point?

Rudy: I read somewhere that there are over 1,300 different religions in world. Is that true?
Nun: Yes it is.
Rudy: Well then, I think I'll have a look around first (before agreeing to be confirmed).

Last but not least, Rudy's joke: Joseph and Mary are at the stables awaiting the birth of their son. Joseph stubs his toe and screams out "Jesus Christ" and Mary says, "Hey, that's a great name!"

It was odd to hear some of the same questions I've continually asked myself and have yet to find answers that satisfy me. At the very least, I'm not the only one.

Playing with Fire

We are a race of the walking wounded. I had this post in my head for a little while now, but wanted to kind of flesh out exactly what I wanted to say. In the meantime, several of my blog reads have touched upon this very subject, but I don’t want this to alienate the married folks, so keep reading and maybe you’ll be able to offer some advice.

In this era of dating in your 30s (or thereabouts), esp. after the Big D, I’ve found that people have had negative experiences that holds them back from looking at new people with a clean slate. It then makes the dating scene all the more awkward, as you sit there waiting for the other person to reveal their “true” self. While I realize my past hasn’t been all that great either, I really try to approach each new opportunity with an open mind. Unfortunately, I’m apparently in the minority.

(Editor's Note: due to an offline message I received when I first posted this, I must clarify before you read on that this post is about no ONE particular person -- it's a culmination of stories from guy friends, other blogs, girlfriends' horror stories and my own experiences. I get just as irritated with platonic guy friends or girlfriends who do this to their potential dates, and try to make the same points with them).

One of my guy friends told me once, “All women are psychos. I hate dating b/c it takes two years for the psychoticness to come out and then you’ve already invested two years into something to find out she’s a freak.” Another told me “women are just looking for men with money so they can quit their jobs and he can support her.”

Oh really? And then when I explore to find out whom the person was that caused this revelation to apply to the entire female gender, I discover that the culprit is someone that didn’t even fit what they would consider their “ideal match” in the first place.

Wait… you mean that you make $60k+ a year, drive a nice car, have a nice place and you hook up with a girl who makes less than half of what you do, still lives with her parents, has no ambition to go beyond what she’s currently doing – and her neediness and/or desire to rush things SHOCKS you?

Here's a good one: “She’s not someone I can imagine myself being with, so I’ll just stay casual with her (aka “someone to have sex with when I’m lonely”). I’ve told her how I feel, so it’s okay. Sorry guys. Though I do credit you for being upfront about your intentions, there’s a reason you can’t see yourself with her long-term and chances are she’s not going to be able to control her feelings on her end. So, here we go with the predictable Fatal Attraction-ending where she becomes emotional, needy, etc. anyway and winds up pissing off the guy.

Or, this is my absolute favorite: hooking up with someone who is already in another relationship b/c, of course, the cheater will be so trustworthy when they are with you, right? No, I don't think so.

Why I do care, you ask? If they make their bed, why shouldn't I just let them sleep in it? Because, I’m usually the next one up to bat and I suffer the consequences of being pre-judged, based on the last freakazoid, despite the fact I have nothing in common with her. He ignores the fact that I make as much as him, I’m as educated (or perhaps more so) than him, I’ve lived 5,000 miles away from my family, I’m willing to move and try new things, I can go to movies by myself, I’m not afraid to stand up to my Mom – all that goes to shit b/c he’s the one who chose to play with fire and then got burned.

Advice? Suggestions? Or, just feel my pain? No sappy crap like “Oh, the right one will see you for you who are…” Oh, and yes, I do realize that women can be just as guilty of this, so there's no need to tell me that. This is the type of frustration for which the sole purpose of blogs was created – to get good feedback from friends and even strangers.

Are you ever too young to lube?

About two years ago, my step-dad was visiting my sister and her family in St. Louis for the weekend. He was helping my nephew (who was about 10 at the time) with the wheels on his skateboard. My step-dad said he couldn't get any torque to turn the wheels and asked C if they had any lubricant. C thought for a second and said "sure, I'll go get some." When C returned, it was everything my step-dad could do to not burst out laughing, for C had brought back...

KY Jelly.

My sister couldn't answer my question of how C even knew that existed and where to find it:)

Words of advice

Yes, another movie reference. Deal with it. I'm a sucker for anything that's filmed in Hawaii, but what I like about 50 First Dates is the idea that you spend every day getting the person you love to fall back in love with you.

You know how it's often easier for someone on the outside to hand out advice? Well, I'm going to take advantage of your undivided attention for what I hope is a good cause -- a.k.a. the Becky Gospel. I think one of the biggest mistakes that couples do is letting themeselves take that other person for granted. Lately, I've heard (and heard of) couples squabbling over things that are just so trivial, when you step back and look at it in the grand scheme of things (and yes, I do realize that some do have legitimate problems that this does not apply to).

Perhaps it's the analytical/pessimistic side of me that's jumping ahead to "what if you knew you had only two months more with that person?" The dishes in the sink, the unfolded laundry and the door to be fixed are suddenly put into perspective, along with those choice words you might've exchanged. Everyday should be treated like that because you just never know when you might get that news, and afterward, there's nothing you can do to get back that time.

Think about to when you first realized you wanted to be with that person -- no matter what level your relationship is at. Chances are it was one particular event that happened when you knew you at least wanted to see where it would go, and it had nothing to do with the amount of money spent on your last date or gift. It was probably as simple as unlocking your car door before you got back over to your side, a glass of water brought to you in the middle of the night because you'd be thirsty, or a cup of cookie dough set aside because he'd knew you'd jones for it later on. Those simple, yet thoughtful, gestures make such a difference.

I'm not saying it's easy to do this, by any means. It has to be a conscious effort on both parts, and you might have to course-correct when you either one starts veering off again. But, I think that you'd find that going through each day with having someone look at you like you're the greatest thing in the world is priceless and quite worth the effort (the wisdom of which I must credit to new friend, Young Maximus). Trust me, most singletons would like to be in your shoes, even with the imperfections.

I was thinking about this potential post on my drive home last night and suddenly "Under Pressure" from Queen/Bowie came blaring on and seemed so appropriate for my moment (even though the artists might have meant them for something else).

Cause love's such an old fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves

Okay, that's enough sap... for at least the next couple days. Now, go be lovey, even if it's just to your dog. He/she will still be most appreciative.

My terms of endearment

I'm frustrated tonight, so I need to release it through this post. I didn't realize how much this pic of Terms of Endearment reminds me of me and my mother. I have brown hair/brown eyes -- she blonde and blue. Shirley MacClaine's character in this movie reminds me of my mom, so if you've seen the movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Today, we were having lunch and my mother tells me that she just HAS to say something to me and to just let her get it out. She proceeds to slooooooowly talk to me (as if I'm about three) that I eat my bread way too quickly and I need to put my knife down after every time I butter. This is very important, you see, because if I'm on a date, it will most likely be the reason why the guy won't call for a second one.

Grrrrrr.....do we EVER grow up? Or, does everyone go through this with their parents? Quite frankly, I think I've more than proven my ability to take care of myself. I lived in TX for 6 years after college without her help, I'm now running her business that she just doesn't feel like doing anymore, I finished my MBA in the middle of a divorce and moving back here -- and now that all goes to shit because I eat my f'n bread too quickly?

It's so aggravating because I know my Mom means well, just like Shirley's character did in this movie, but they have such an acerbic delivery that it just winds up pissing off the recipient. It's what I call the Shit Eating Grin, where they sit there and insult you with a smile on their face. Often, I have to think about whether or not I can take a couple hours' worth of criticism about myself or my sibs before I even call her. And then I feel bad b/c I know she's lonely, particularly now, but I still don't think it justifies such abrasiveness. It's also hard to take it b/c I know that if I ever do need her, she will give the shirt off her back for me -- just like good 'ole Shirley.

I got home tonight from my friend's house and noticed she'd called but didn't leave a message. Trying to be the good daughter, I call her back, just to make sure she's okay, and she immediately starts investigating "why are you home so early?" "didn't you have a good time?" "was anything wrong?" I can't stand being interrogated like I'm coming in after curfew in high school. At 30, I value my privacy extremely and do not want to share every little detail about my life with my mother.

Nothing's wrong and why did you call?

I think it hurt her feelings, but I'm still irritated about the bread. She'd called b/c she wanted to remind me to tape 24 since she knew I'd be at my friend's house (though since it was after 7 p.m., that would've been too late anyway to do me any good). Really, I know she just wanted some ear company, so I know I feel like an asshole.

There. Better. Deep breath.

Jack Bauer kicks ass

I LOVE the show, 24. It is so fast-paced that it gets my adrenaline running, even just watching it on my green leather couch. You can't beat a season opener, like #2, where Jack is interrogating a suspect, shoots him and then cuts off the guy's ear so that he can use it as evidence to gain access to a gang that he has to infiltrate, under disguise in order to prevent a bomb from exploding (did ya get all that?). Plus, there's something about the name Jack that says "don't screw with me."

Each episode represents one hour of real-life time, so all these crises from year-to-year take place in one day. Now, I realize that watching this show requires a suspension of disbelief -- in particular that you drive anywhere in LA in 20 minutes, but hey, it's TV.

The main thing about Jack is that the end justifies the means, so he bypasses bureaucracy by oversteppng his authority, disobeying orders, shooting the bad guys to get answers -- hell, even becoming a heroin addict to take down some drug lords. You can't help but root for him, despite his methods, because you feel that same sense of frustration with red tape and B.S., even if what you encounter is the corporate type. It's almost like living through Jack and seeing him tell the National Security Adviser to eat shit (in so many words), you somehow just did the same thing to your moronic boss/client.

I have to admit that I've found myself confronted with these types of situations in the past, and have often taken Jack's path (though, obviously, not nearly as violent), particularly where I'm trying to help someone. I'm sitting here trying to think of something that I'm willing to post up here for anyone to see, but in the meantime...anyone else feel like sharing?

You say it like it's a bad thing*

Someone asked me once why I would write the movie reviews for a website called MaliciousBitch.com. I had to chuckle a bit because, of course, the question was asked by a man. A man who has never and could never be labeled a “bitch.”

Two of my blog and now real-life buddies, Chris and Doyle, run the site. Just to provide an extremely brief history, the name originated from a woman calling Chris a “malicious bitch” because Chris was seeking to be paid for some work she’d done for this woman, and said she’d go through legal means if necessary. What nerve Chris had, right?

I know that I’ve been labeled a “bitch” many times, either to my face or behind my back. It’s a badge awarded to many women that aren’t afraid to express their opinions or stand up for themselves. And, I’m guessing that many of you out there are sitting there nodding your heads in agreement because you know of what I speak.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a difference between being tenacious and disrespectful. Do not confuse the two. The woman who dumps on you is rude; the woman who calls her out on it is not. If I'm overcharged for something, I insist upon getting my money back. If someone jumps over my friend Dan D. while he's in his wheelchair, I tell that person he needs better manners.

There’s definitely a double standard when it comes to being direct, especially in the workplace where I could say something and be called “hot headed” or “close minded” and my male co-worker could make the same point and was listened to. Or, even in a restaurant or store, my experience has been that men seem to have their issues addressed in a far quicker and friendlier tone than women. When a man complains, he is being “reasonable and fair,” whereas a woman is “PMSing or menopausal.”

I’ve long since decided that I’d rather be a “bitch” than a doormat, especially until our culture allows for some type of middle ground.

*Slogan from MBc.