Mama-san adventures

I had as good a visit as I probably could with my mom, but I have to admit that after five days, it was good to get my space and privacy back. Here’s a picture of us the night of her birthday at dinner – thanks to my brother, Patrick, for setting it up as her present. You can stop squinting and trying to find a resemblance because there isn’t one (I’m adopted).

I thought I’d take this post in two sections. Several of you have asked how she’s doing, and I appreciate you thinking to ask, so I’ll go ahead and answer here. She’s still doing as best as one could expect, especially since they tore the remnants of the house down last week (she still hasn't decided whether to re-build or just sell the lot). It kind of gnarly in that my mom has baseball-sized lump sticking out of her right shin and it’s all green and scabby because she fell on her way out of the house when the fire started (she has always healed slowly).

I have to admit that it was kind of sad whenever people brought it up or she came across something that she needed to replace or just didn’t have anymore. Imagine that everything you own fits into one suitcase and it kind of puts it into perspective. We spent much of the weekend shopping for things that she needed to replace like luggage, clothes and shoes.

She’s still filling out her spreadsheet for the house contents because you have to document everything in every room in order to get your policy value. And in case you’re wondering, this is how it works. You list the value of when you purchased the item and how old it is. The insurance company will quickly reimburse you for that amount. If you replace the item and it costs more (which is kind of a given with inflation and depreciation), you can submit receipts and the insurance company will reimburse the difference. But, here’s the typical bureaucratic idiocy coming through in that they want her to try to provide proof or documentation of some of the more expensive items – because we would all keep a picture of ourselves wearing a mink coat in a place other than in the house that just burned down.

Anyway, I know you’re all dying to find out about the naked spa, right? Well, as one that is really modest and doesn’t like to touch anyone (no, you don’t touch women in the spa, it’s just to illustrate the point of my prudishness), it was an uncomfortable experience. They give you a robe, but you get about five feet into the pool, spa and steam areas and you have to put it into a cubby and saunter around in the buff. I high-tailed it to one of the pools and stayed there until I was called for my body scrub. I did not care how wrinkled I became.

Now what was odd because you’re basically splayed out on these plastic massage beds and these Korean ladies were just scrubbing us down. Sure, there was a small bamboo shade in between the line of beds, but you could still see everything…if you wanted to. In other spas that I’ve been to, women will often get into the pools naked, but you can wear your robe right up until the edge or they provide large towels to wrap around as you walk around. Or, in the case of a scrub, you're in your own room and they use towels to cover your privates.

But, the most embarrassing part was the fact that there was a woman that obviously had a bikini wax into what is called “the landing strip.” And, since my mom had seen heard about bikini waxes on Oprah (because nothing really exists until it’s been on Oprah), her curiosity was piqued and she asked me, “How do you know how wide to tell them how wide to make the strip? By the size of what’s supposed to land on it?”

And then, of course, she had to mention the Brazilian that she heard about on Oprah and I explained that it meant that everything came off. And she then asked me “don’t you think that would hurt?” Well, since I’d done my bikini line before and they ripped some of my skin up with the strip, I was sure as hell not taking any chances with my Holy Grail. Yow-zah!

Anyway, do you feel comfortable walking around naked in front of others (excluding your significant other)? I have to admit that I’m curious if there’s a difference between the genders or if the comfort level is evenly spread out.