Kids these days

Have you ever been out in public and you see a kid talk to their parent in a way that you NEVER would’ve had the nerve to do when you were that age? I see that more and more, and admittedly from even children of some people I know. I’m not really sure what the change is in our culture, but the tide seems to have turned at some point between when I was a kid and the latest generation.

Here’s a perfect example. My mom and I were visiting NYC about 18 months ago during Thanksgiving week for a vacation. We went to The Today Show one morning, and of course, it was filled with people and all those kids from the marching bands. The fact that Bon Jovi was the outdoor concert made it even a little more congested. There were some of these pre-teen girls up against the rail behind the stage, and my mom and I were right behind them. In true concert fashion, things were pretty tight.

However, one of these girls that couldn’t have been older than 13 suddenly turned around and yelled at my mother, “Uh, could you PLEASE stop bumping into me?” Now, I realize that the word “please” was used, but you’ll have to just believe me when I say that it was about as rude as it could be. Her tone, her volume and her expression was not polite in the least.

When it was over, I leaned over to my mom and said, “Holy crap, if I ever spoke to an adult that way when I was her age, I…” and my mom finished “would’ve been dealt with accordingly.” I said something along the lines with “kids these days have no respect. And I’m not sure where they get off talking about space when they keep holding up that stupid sign that blocks everyone’s view of the stage.”

Now, keep in mind that I was 30 at the time and when I was 13, that was still considered an “adult” to me. The girl turns around and barks at me, “if you have something to say about me, then you can say it to my face” as if she was challenging me to a playground rumble. I said, “well, as a matter of fact I do. You are in a crowded place where there’s a concert. You chose to be in the front row, so you do not have a right to expect personal space and to not be touched. And even if you do feel uncomfortable, you have the courtesy to politely ask someone to give you some room. And if you don’t like to have your space crowded, then you need to move to the back.”

That apparently shut her up, but she got upset and then told her teacher, who turned and gave me stink eye (granted, her teacher heard the student’s initial bellow at my mother and didn’t think that was a problem). Then she apparently told her Dad a few people down what happened, who loudly said “well, some people just don’t know how to act.”

Of course, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I said, “excuse me, sir, but your daughter is the one who turned around and screamed at my mother. If you want to get into how people should act, perhaps you need to look a lot further and teach your daughter how to respect their elders.” Needless to say, the guy had nothing to say back to that, though his expression said that he didn’t realize how rude his daughter had initially been.

I remember when my Ex started teaching about six years ago and the language that the kids used toward the teachers was just appalling. But, he said the teachers felt constrained because of the types of law suits and issues that they now had to face, compared to what it was like when my generation (and earlier) was in school when the schools had more freedom to discipline.

One of my friends, Mike, has two girls aged six and eight, and he was telling me the other day how difficult it is for him to draw the line between being “the boss,” yet not wanting to be hated. Though I know I don’t have kids of my own, I can understand that quagmire.

I don’t know if some people that might be too lenient are that way b/c they hated their parents or are afraid of turning into an abuser. I just don’t know the “why,” but I have to admit that I can’t help but wonder what it’s going to be like when these kids join the work force and have no respect for authority, elders or boundaries?