Cheap is as cheap does

We all have them in our group of friends. They somehow creep in and before we know it, we’re stuck covering their shortfall of the dinner tab. You know the kind I mean – the person whose entrée was $7.99 and they chip in $8 as if tax and tip don’t apply to their meal.

The subject of cheapness has come up recently, and I must admit that it’s a quality that I tend to keep on the outer perimeter of my “circle of trust.” Quite frankly, I just don’t trust cheap people.

And, I need to be clear in that there’s a huge difference between being cheap and frugal/practical. One could also say it comes down to people with manners and people that don’t. To be fair, some I’ve encountered truly do seem oblivious to their infractions, but at the same time, I’m just amazed at how they never pick up on it when they see how most behave towards them.

Cheap is when you have the means but short-change your friends and you don’t follow normal social protocols, like thanking people for hospitality. The reason I have trust issues with this type is that, in my personal experience, they often take far more than they ever give, and I don’t strictly mean in the monetary sense. They’re the type that only calls you when they need something or don’t ever have the time to let you cry on THEIR shoulder. What goes around comes around amongst friends.

They’re so preoccupied with making sure they don’t get screwed over in some way that their neuroses eats at every other aspect of their personality, so that they aren’t that enjoyable to be around. It’s almost like their lack of concern for others translates into other issues, like being far too blunt or the person that always says something so awkward that it immediately halts all other conversations, necks crane and eyebrows raise to all ask “did he/she really just say what I think I heard?” Somehow they continually get included because their exclusion would raise the issue and cause more discomfort for most than it’s worth.

It reminds me a lot of that married couple in The Joy Luck Club where the husband took “equality” to the extreme, and they’d split dinner bills in half despite the fact his meal took up 2/3 of the total cost. Or, he’d tell her to pay for ½ the groceries even though he bought items she didn’t like or was allergic to. The result is that he’s also stingy with his emotions and care for his wife, even if this example is a little severe.

It’s far too difficult to keep an exact score, for we never really know when the game ends.