What's in your plan?

I made a comment to my mom the other night about how I'll probably only be able to afford to buy condos until I get married (in most major cities), and she asked me if I had a plan for that.

"A plan?" I choked out. "You mean, as in to get married?"

"Well, yes."

I explained to her that this isn't the day and age of matchmakers and that there were no hidden agendas in my motivations to do anything of the sort. She has this friend of hers who told her that if one likes the symphony and wants to meet people who like the symphony, then he/she should should join the symphony. Yes, because that's how it always works, right -- when you plan for it? Tell that to my sister who met her husband at a baptism or my brother who met his wife at work or my other brother who met his fiance' at a group outing.

I told her that I think my independence is really one of my better qualities for guys that are now finally out of their 20s, and to join groups and do things in an effort to earn the MRS badge is kind of contradictory to that very ideal. I would do what I want when I want and if I so happen to meet someone, great. If not, then life goes on, and I'll just mooch off people for holidays from the confines of my two-bedroom condo with my two dogs. Unfortunately, I've already added another divorce to the statistics and I don't want to have another by rushing into anything.

My mom just can't seem to comprehend that not only is the game different from her day but the rules are, too. Or, even people older than her. I'm so thankful that we have a choice in this generation, but it amazes me how people are so quick to judge, in spite of it. I think the disconnect is that many of our mothers, even during Feminism, defined themselves by who or when they married.

I find it strange that women are applauded for their choice on whether to stay at home with children or go to work, yet choosing not to jump, leap and skip down the aisle with the first guy that actually wants to date me is suddenly grounds for questioning my sanity and hormone levels.

There's a huge difference between needing and wanting, and why that understanding only applies to material items escapes me. I'll be the first person to admit that I hope to get married again, but on behalf of all single people out there, there's no real need to pity me. Just be my friend and set an extra place at your dinner table.