Elvis doesn't always get the girl

A couple of years ago when the movie Black Hawk Down came out, I’d told my mom that I went to see it in the theatre and she said “You realize the general in the movie is one of Bob’s (my step-dad’s) best friends, right?” Immediately I asked, “Wait, is that the dude who yelled at me on the phone that one time you and Bob were late to meet up with him?” Indeed, it was.

Bob and Maj. General Garrison met in Vietnam and remained friends for over 35 years. They and their wives rendezvoused quite often in Las Vegas, where the two of them had their own special poker machines at The Mirage. In fact, if any one was on "their" machines, they circled it like vultures until the poor sap got off. The time that I got yelled at, my parents were visiting me in San Antonio and Gen. Garrison and his wife drove down from their Central Texas home to meet them downtown on the Riverwalk.

Although I never met Gen. Garrison in-person, it was interesting talking to Bob about him, especially from the perspective of someone who met him while they were in their 20s. Bob said that Gen. Garrison took complete responsibility for the Somalia skirmish that is featured in Black Hawk Down, but has never read the book nor seen the movie.

According to what Bob knew about the incident from those involved (if you’ve seen the movie, the bald Captain with an attitude, Mike Steele, played by Jason Isaacs was one of Bob’s real-life lieutenants when I was in high school), the movie was actually quite accurate in terms of the actual events. The one disparity is that the rebels launched hundreds of RPGs during the episode versus the dozen or so in the film, so it’s actually quite a miracle that only two helicopters went down.

Another issue is that although Gen. Garrison retired the day after General Aided died, it was purely coincidental for the retirement papers were submitted at least a year ahead of time (which is pretty standard for people with over 20 years of service). Also, in case you’re wondering, both Bob and my mother said Sam Shepherd played the character quite realistically, including the chomping of unlit cigars.

I want to share a story that I thought was fairly humorous the last time they met up in Las Vegas. It was Gen. Garrison’s birthday, and when my mom and his wife, Diane, saw an Elvis impersonator in the elevator, they asked him to come sing “Happy Birthday.” So, the Elvis obliged, belted out his tune, but then wouldn’t leave. And then, he committed a cardinal sin and started hitting on Diane Garrison and trying to put his arm around her.

Now, that’s where Bob side-noted that Gen. Garrison was the country’s “go to” guy when it came to special/black operations during the 70s/80s and was instrumental in establishing the elite Delta Force, so this is really the last person you might want to piss off. Well, unfortunately for the Elvis, he was either was too stupid to realize they were married or was naïve enough to think this 60-year-old man wasn’t a threat.

After the Elvis ignored several requests to leave and that the party was “over,” General Garrison grabbed the Elvis by the neck, pushed him up against the wall and basically informed the guy in graphic detail of what would happen if he touched Diane again.

And that, my friends is how Elvis left the building.