It is your choice

One of the movies I got from Netflix right before my trip to Seattle was a movie called P.S. with Laura Linney and Topher Grace. The movie itself was rather dull and uneventful, but I liked a quote that Linney’s brother says to her character in the movie:

“Dignity is a choice. You can either let it take you down or you can do something about it.”

This really stuck out to me because I’ve often found myself having difficulty listening to someone complain over and over about the same problem, when it is within his/her capacity to fix and he/she refuses to do. Though I realize there are legitimate reasons to divert one from his/her goals (like needing to take care of a sick relative), I cannot understand the inability to not take any sort of action – ever.

You don’t like your job? Then, start looking for another. Can’t afford the pay cut? Then decide if you need that particular car, large house or expensive clothing. Your relative is pissing you off? Talk to them about it, instead of letting it stew to the point where you explode. You think your fiance's an idiot? Then don't marry the dumbass.

It seems as though the world is divided into two people: those who wait for things to happen and those who make things happen. I’ve never really been one of those with any sort of luck, so I quickly realized that in order to get what I want, I had to doggedly pursue it instead assuming it would be handed over. I have a hard time relating to and respecting those who just bitch and are all talk with no action because everything worthwhile – love, careers, family -- is a challenge.

Now, I do feel that there is a difference between those who try to make a change and don't succeed versus those who are too afraid to make the effort in the first place. I far more respect those who foul out than the ones who won’t even step into the batter’s box (how’s that for a cliché?). We all have our own story; some just choose not to share it. But, it's how we react to it that gives us strength, character and defines us.

In reading what I’ve written so far, I realize how it makes me sound very intolerable of others and that may be true, but I don’t think anyone can accuse me for constantly having my hand out and just expecting others to solve my problems just because I'm miserable.

And that is my dignity by choice.