Realism vs. cynicism

The post below on the He Said/She Said sparked an offline discussion that led into a completely different theme. I was told that the fact that I believed that female waitresses often flirt with their male customers just to get a bigger tip is being “cynical.” I, however, call myself a “realist.” My counterpart informed me that it’s the same thing.

I beg to differ.

When you see or experience repetitive behavior, it becomes a pattern and it becomes a matter of common sense or self-protection to ready oneself for what is most likely to happen, based on upon a set of behaviors. Most of us have red flags and defense mechanisms because we are realists. We see the world for how it has shaped us, for the good or the bad.

I can understand the inclination to be optimistic about situations, events, and people – at certain points, but not as my general outlook. I’m just not made that way. Probably the one area where I’m good at this is the idea of relationships, finding my fairy tale.

A cynic to me is one who is constantly negative without much reasoning or basis to be there. An optimist (as in one who can ALWAYS take that route) is one who’s been fortunate enough to not be handed many lemons in life, so that emotions take a frontseat to the facts, numbers and logic -- or at least based upon my experiences of those I've known to take this path.

A realist is one who bases his/her opinions upon logic, numbers and facts – together which can form both positive and negative outlooks. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it probably is a duck. I rely upon experience, whether it is my own or even things that might’ve happened to those I know. That’s what arouses my sixth sense or even makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck to tell me that something’s “just not right.”

And, if anything, it makes for a lively discussion.