He said/She Said

It never ceases to amaze me how couples often encounter the same type of problems, no matter what, just because men and women are wired so differently. How is it that with millions of people in either gender that men can view a situation one way and women are completely different?

One of my favorite movies to illustrate this is a little known one called *He Said/She Said that came out in 1991. It stars Elizabeth Perkins (you may remember her from Big) and, of course… Kevin Bacon. Nathan Lane and Sharon Stone have supporting roles before they became really famous. The movie tells of how the couple met and how their relationship progressed, ultimately leading to a fight.

But, the unique thing is that the first half of the movie is the male’s perspective with the second half being the female’s, and you are privy to how the two sexes view the same event in opposite ways. Hence, the title for the movie, but it also becomes the title for their column in The Baltimore Sun for reviewing various issues, events, etc.

An example of how this plays out. In the male version, the couple is eating dinner outside and a former flame of the man’s comes up to talk to them and has a polite conversation. In the female’s version, the woman who comes up is dressed like a hooker, snaps her gum, speaks like a Valley Girl and oh – by the way – her boob falls out of her dress while talking.

I find myself oftentimes viewing a real-life couple’s drama in the same manner and wonder how it is that we see things so differently. And I know you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’ll make a comment about the gall of the female waitress to flirt with my dude with me right there (esp. since the odds are at least 50/50 that I could be paying the tip). The guy says, “oh, she’s not flirting, she’s just being friendly.” I can’t count how many times I’ve heard other couples go through the SAME thing.

Or, why men don’t ask for directions…
Or, why women ask loaded questions like “does this make me look fat?” when we know the answer?
Or, why women think that X amount of sex per week is a lot and men never think it’s enough?
Or….fill in your blank.