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I already know how I’m going to die, and I’m only 30. It’s going to be in my bed as an old lady, just like Titanic. But over the next 50 years or so, no one will have remembered the movie, because it will never do for me to become a cliché. I will not be invalid at that point, but I will realize that it’s just my time to go, always in control, even at the end.

I will have outlived my husband by several years, though it was something I was prepared to do, even now, before I’ve met him. Just one of those things I was meant to do, along with wheeling my own mother around the old folks’ home, since she was only 20 years my senior and the women in her family live for eternity. I do have other family members who love me and miss me, but they live in different cities and have their own needs to reconcile. The one gray area is that I’m not sure if I will have any children of my own, but that doesn’t really matter right now for the purpose of this discussion.

I already know what I want my epitaph to read – “no regrets.” And, actually mean it.

We only get one shot at life, and it’s our obligation not to waste it. It’s all about pursuing what you want, instead of waiting for others to make it happen for you. You can only play the victim card for so many hands, as everyone has a past. Everyone has had his or her share of problems, and they’re not about to excuse you for yours.

The issue becomes whether you want your past to determine your future, or do you want to chart your own course? It really is that simple, but that doesn’t mean it is easy to do.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of someone handing out advice and encouragement in a way that people understand and believe is within his or her grasp, instead of thinking a rewarding life is for just those kinds of people.

So, how am I one to be able to spew such rousing shit? Well, this is fulfilling one of my goals in life and at the same time, figuring that if I can sling it, then I better be willing to live it.

After all, no one will listen to a hypocrite, and I despise being ignored.