Could, woulda, shoulda

Have you ever woken up and just feel sad? My dreams are oftentimes so vivid that I wake up with the same feeling that I’d just felt in la-la land. Last night, I dreamt that my sister was moving away and I was really upset to lose her, but I felt that my “lesson” was to let her go. Now, we haven’t actually lived in the same city for 12 years, so I know it was metaphorical to let go of something else that has been causing me some angst lately.

Ironically, I pop in Casablanca, as I’m currently using Netflix in order to catch up on all these old classics that I’d never seen before. Most of you are probably familiar with it, as that scene where Bogey says good-bye to Bergman at the end of the movie has embedded itself into mainstream movie culture. As with my dream, there is an overall theme of having the strength to let go – in this particular case, Bogey not only lets Bergman physically go, but also his past love with her.

I realize this is a typical case of “easier said than done,” but I think that many of us allow our pasts to dictate too much of our future. Too often we dwell upon either thinking that the good can never repeat itself or that the bad will. If we are always afraid of what might happen, we never experience what could.

To fear the unknown or your past is natural, but to let it guide your actions is something to which I just cannot relate (well, okay, for the most part – I still refuse to get in little planes). This can be from the romantic standpoint, accepting a new job, starting a new company or even deciding to start a family.

It’s just been my experience that to just wait around for things to fall in your lap is just not going to happen. You have to go out and grab it, and it’s -- quite frankly -- NEVER easy. If it were, then it somehow wouldn’t taste quite as sweet because its true value would neither be fully appreciated nor understood.

The other side is to have the opportunity actually fall in your lap but to be too afraid to recognize it and/or act upon it. I encounter this myself all the time, but continually take the risk because the new and the different could be better than I ever realized. The gnawing curiosity of might happen overrides the fear of the bad that already has already come to pass.

To think that I have experienced everything there is at the ripe ‘ole age of 30 would be remiss, as it would be to let my past haunt me to the point where I ignore what’s right in front of me. I think of what I would’ve missed out on, and I must say that as hard as it can be, the “juice is ALWAYS worth the squeeze.”