Can I have this dance?

One of the hardest things I've ever had to go through is losing my step-dad, Bob (pictured in the center of the four of us kids), to cancer last October. This picture was taken in August, when we all gathered for what we knew would be the last time before he became really ill. A good friend suggested that I use this blog to release some of that anguish that I still find myself dealing with, as I was not blogging at the time, but I'm not quite ready to go that far.

But, I wanted to share a story that my friend, Ana, recently told me, and then you'll see why it has been so difficult not just losing a dad but also an influential person in my life. Bob was our step-father for 20 years, though he had more than earned the title of "Dad" to the four of us.

When I was at lunch with Ana and Denise a couple of weekends ago (Girls Day Out post), they were inquiring how my mother was holding up, along with the rest of my family. I gave them the run-down and Ana said that her mother (also an Ana) always remembered Bob because of an event that happened in the mid-80s.

Ana's father was under Bob's command in the Army, and there was an Army formal function that they had to attend as one of their bullshit Southern belle type of balls that they loved to have. Apparently, Ana's mother showed up in a dress that was determined to be a little risqué for this type of event, and the tongues were wagging, for the Army Officer Corps the modern-day form of American bourgeois.

Bob, as the commanding officer of the event, went up to Ana’s mother and asked her dance. He told her that he liked her dress and so did his wife.

Ana’s mother said she remembers that to this day, 20 years later, and it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for her. And, I’m quite proud of that.